You Know Someone Can’t Come to Your Wedding. Should You Send Them An Invitation Anyway?

iStock.com/Stacey Newman

iStock.com/Stacey Newman

I have a comfy blue chair in my office that colleagues sit in for all sorts of reasons and for all lengths of time—and it is also frequently the setting where people pose all manner of wedding etiquette questions to me.

Most recently, a member of PW’s marketing team popped over to ask me this: Her friend (a bride) knew of someone who could definitely not come to her wedding, and wasn’t sure if she should send them an invitation anyway—or if, since they had already basically covered her RSVP, mailing one out would be redundant and unnecessary. Weirdly enough, that’s the very question a friend had asked me at dinner the other week, and this week, a scan of HuffPo turned up this post. So apparently, this dilemma is a common one!

Now, I had offered up a vehement yes; that it’s still always the right idea to send an invite anyway, because it’s nice to give them the courtesy of being formally invited, and for them to have the courtesy of officially replying, and anyway, plans change! You might not necessarily know if their conflict goes away after they tell you about it. But the Huffington Post response was not as vehement, and anyway, with this coming up so frequently, I thought it time to check in with a few of our local wedding-planning experts. Here’s what they had to say:

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Ask the Expert: Should We Provide Hotel Transportation for Our Destination Wedding Guests?

iStockphoto.com/andresr

iStockphoto.com/andresr

Question: We’re having a destination wedding and our guests are arriving on about three different days, at different times. Are we responsible for providing transportation from the airport to the hotel any time a guest comes in? Or can we just do it for the day that most people will be arriving and have the others handle their own transportation?

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Ask the Expert: I Want Really Simple Centerpieces For My Wedding—Should I Just Do Them Myself?

Jennifer Baumann Photography

Jennifer Baumann Photography

Question: I’d like my wedding-day centerpieces to be really simple—I’m pretty much just picturing lots of bunches of babies breath. Is it annoying for a florist to be hired for a relatively uncreative job like this? And would it maybe even be cheaper if I just did the flowers myself in this case?

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Ask the Expert: Who’s Responsible For Keeping Track of Gifts at Our Reception?

iStockphoto.com/tesdel

iStockphoto.com/tesdel

Question: Many of our guests purchased wedding gifts through our online registry and had them sent to our house, but I’m sure there will be a handful of people who bring gifts and/or cards with checks to the wedding itself. So who’s responsible for keeping an eye on gifts that we receive on our wedding day and making sure they make it home with us afterwards?

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Ask the Expert: When Should I Send Out Thank-You Notes to Guests Who Didn’t Give a Wedding Gift?

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Question: How long after our wedding should we just go ahead and send out thank-you notes to guests who attended our wedding but didn’t (at least, yet) give a gift? We are concerned that if we wait a year (since they supposedly have that long to send), it will just look like we are looking for a gift.

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