Here’s a slightly bizarre story from the Great Northeast involving current Councilman-at-Large Jack Kelly and an apparently rogue Northeast Philly gay-bashing group. Over the last month, the alliteratively named Citizens Opposed to Politicians Who Pander to Perverts (COPPP) placed hundreds of copies of the above flyer under the windshield wipers of parishioners parked at local churches during mass.

Kelly — currently in a death race to keep his seat from Republican contender David Oh, who at last count was reported to have a 44- to 48-vote lead — told the Daily Examiner yesterday that he had confronted the primary flyer-flicker, “some screwball from the Northeast” who has threatened to derail his political career on many occasions.

Challenger Oh told the Examiner that he’d heard about the incident but had nothing to do with it (”I was endorsed by the Log Cabin Republicans!”), doesn’t know the source, and said he wasn’t even aware of the flyer’s content other than it had to do with Kelly siding with the city against the Boy Scouts.

Kelly said he was annoyed rather than upset about the incident, and that he’s confident it was simply a one- or two-man sabotage attempt that “didn’t change one person’s mind.”

So, in fact, there is no COPPP, for those of you out there who may have been interested in becoming members, purchasing T-shirts or pummeling pervert-loving politicians.

Still no winner in Oh-Kelly race [Daily News]

Given today’s top billing on Yahoo.com, it looks as if last week’s Travel & Leisure survey ranking Philadelphia as the city most populated by pustule-covered monsters is going to keep gaining traction. But who’s really getting hurt by all this negative pub? The hard-working Philly-is-so-cool kids at uiwishunu, whose main goal in life is to ensure that the public’s perception of Philadelphia doesn’t begin and end with “fat, Santa-booing murderers.”

Annie Heckenberger, the social media director of uwishunu parent org Greater Philadelphia Tourism Marketing Corporation, sounded a bit exasperated when the Daily Examiner called for a quote. “Rolling Stone says we’re the hot scene,” she redirected helpfully. “I agree with that.”

Here’s what we offered Heckenberger as the solution to her woes: To combat this rising butt-ug rep, the GPTMC should hire May’s 2007 Playmate of the Month (photos safe for work only if you work at home or at the Fantasy Showbar) and product of the Philly ‘burbs Shannon James as the official ambassador for the City of Brotherly Love — forever. (Or until her looks start to go.)

Dress her up like Ben Franklin, have her throw out the first pitch at Phillies games, let her moderate mayoral elections, and have her analyze the murder epidemic in the national media. Anytime Philadelphia is represented on a national scale, trot Miss James out there to look pretty and wag ass.

After a long pause, Heckenbeger agreed to “take it under consideration.”

She should. And Heckenberger should know that James is no ordinary blonde with a perfectly shorn pubic region. We interviewed Miss James soon after her pictorial and were pleased to find that, in addition to her love of tanning products and spin classes, she’s also an aspiring poet. She sent us some of her work:

Spinning
Ever feel like your world is spinning?
And there you are — right in the middle
No conception of what is actually going on
You try to reach out to grab a hold?
To touch that bit of reality?
Twisting and twirling?
You know you can’t stop
In fear that you will fall

Fine. So she’s not Sylvia Plath. But she’s sure not ugly either.

Looking for attractive people? Don’t go to …[Yahoo]

Photo: Playboy.com