Even though most of the punches thrown last year came courtesy of some of the classless lunatics watching the game, The700Level is reporting that this year Phils-Mets animosity could spill over onto the field.

ESPN baseball scribe Jayson Stark, appearing on Sports Radio 950’s morning show yesterday, said that some of the Phillies players he’s spoken to so far at spring training are so fired up about their upcoming 19-game showdown with the Bastard Mets that it could get ugly: “There were guys in that locker room the other day suggesting there will be a brawl this year.”

As if the blood-lusty Philadelphia fans needed any more reason to look forward to baseball this season.

Stark on Mets-Phillies: There Will Be A Brawl [The700Level]

Adam Eaton detractors and lovers of large-breasted, mouthy extroverts rejoice: Kris Benson and his lovely wife Anna might be here very soon. According to DelVal Online Phillies blogger Scott Lauber:

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It appears the Phillies are getting serious about signing free agent pitcher Kris Benson. The Inquirer’s Jim Salisbury filed a story early this morning indicating that the Phillies are in talks with the surgically repaired hurler with the knocker-heaving wife.

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That nauseating groan from the alleyways of Broad Street yesterday afternoon came when news hit that the bastard New York Mets had acquired Johan Santana from the Minnesota Twins for a crop of draft picks.

Santana, whom many consider the most dominant pitcher in the league, suddenly makes the Mets rotation (and front office) look a whole lot shinier. Immediately after the announcement, the Phillies’ online faithful emitted their most colorful, exasperated reactions, most of which contained the words Nooooo and Fuckkkkk. (more…)

The Phillies finally signed a third baseman yesterday: former San Francisco Giant Pedro Feliz. When the news hit, the baseball web erupted with the usual best-case/worst-case scenarios. Those clamoring for their own alliterative upper-deck fanbase should act now. “Pedro Persuasion” has a nice, ’80s Latino-keyboard-rock feel to it. That would be my personal choice. (more…)

The Phillies have announced their promotional schedule for the upcoming season. Along with the usual batch of bobble-headed madness, windbreakers, etc., there’s the return of “Rooftop Thursdays,” where fans can congregate on the Ashburn Alley rooftop to partake in mechanical bull-riding and dunk-tank activities. (Plus copious amounts of drinking and ogling of flip-flopped women in Chase Utley jerseys.)

More surprising is the continuance of the dreaded “Dollar Dog Nights” — which, as everybody remembers from last year, always seemed to bring out the worst in the Phillies fanbase. Whether it was nitrate overdoses or just general mania brought on by the ingestion of too much cased meat, DDNs seemed guaranteed to end in some sort of free-swinging melee, usually in the 300 level.

So, for those who enjoy drunken brawling and mingling with the Citizens Bank Park security team, mark these dates on your calendar:

Saturday, March 29, 1:05 p.m. (Toronto Blue Jays)
Wednesday, April 2, 7;05 p.m. (Washington Nationals)
Tuesday, April 15, 7:05 p.m. (Houston Astros),
Tuesday, April 29, 7:05 p.m. (San Diego Padres)
Tuesday, May 13, 7:05 p.m. (Atlanta Braves)
Monday, May 26, 7:05 p.m. (Colorado Rockies)
Tuesday, June 3, 7:05 p.m. (Cincinnati Reds)
Tuesday, August 19, 7:05 p.m. (Washington Nationals)
Tuesday, September 9, 7:05 p.m. (Florida Marlins)

The 300 Level [The700Level]

Former Phillies chub-of-love first baseman John Kruk has always proven himself to be an apt comic foil — willing to poke fun at his weight, his career, his beer-drinking. Now, it appears, his love of self-deprecation will be animated: According to Pitchfork, the ESPN baseball analyst is scheduled to appear in an upcoming mind-exploding episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force:

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Fans of the ’93 Phillies and Darren Daulton, rejoice! Dutch has decided to write another book, but this time he’s leaving all the metaphysical mumbo-jumbo out of it. His literary agent, Laurie Hawkins, has confirmed that Daulton is working on a project about his major-league career that won’t even mention time-traveling or Mayan calendars.

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Yow. Shocker. The Metro’s Metropolis blog revealed that former Phillies outfielder Lenny Dykstra popped up on some sort of non-Major League Baseball approved list that’s being heavily circulated in newsrooms across the country. The full list will be revealed at 2 p.m.

Other Phils mentioned on what could very well be a fake list? Third basemen Abraham Nunez and David Bell. Why the hell couldn’t Wes Helms be on there?

Mitchell Report: Dykstra, 74 others dirty [Metroblogging]

Are the Phillies going to change their broadcast rotation yet again? After last season’s multiple moves — adding Gary Matthews and Jim Jackson, subtracting Scott Graham, and creating separate radio (Scott Franzke and Larry Andersen) and television (Harry Kalas, Chris Wheeler and Gary Matthews) teams — the organization sent out the following e-mail to fans yesterday asking their opinion about the teams’ broadcasters:

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