Well, that’s a win. Sort of: After the defense let Thomas Jones stomp all over them during the Jets’s first possession, it appeared the listless Eagles were back. There was no fire — there weren’t even smoldering wood chips. It appeared the borderline deplorable Jets were about to run right over the Birds and the season was doomed. But the Jets came away with just a field goal, and then the Birds came out swinging on offense, quickly proving they’d be able to do anything they wanted against this team. After everything started clicking early — including numerous rare Reggie Brown sightings — the Birds should’ve scored about 97 points. Yet there was only one touchdown and a couple of David Akers windswept field goals to show for it. Birds win 16 to (YAWN) 9. Somehow, even in victory, this team still looks and feels radically different, almost like a cover-band version of the dominant Philadelphia Eagles teams of recent years’ past. Some of the songs are deceptively real, but it doesn’t take long to realize that, no, this team isn’t anywhere close to being top 10 in the NFC his year. Even if they do perform a passable “Free Bird” every other week.

The death of Five: I’m quite sure that not only can every defensive lineman in the league catch Donovan McNabb from behind, but he’d also be in trouble if chased by a pack of old poodles with hip dysplasia. That double-threat quarterback with the nifty open-field moves has vanished as pathetically as his hairline. He’ll still chuck the occasional long ball, but we’re essentially working with Steve McNair for the rest of this season and not Vince Young. Why does it feel like we got robbed out of his full potential? Maybe he’d be better off someplace else next year. At least we’ll have Brian Westbrook for another couple of seasons, until his body just disintegrates into a pile of dust.

Yet the defense continues to inexplicably get better: Giving up so much real estate to Thomas Jones was alarming, but the Eagles still didn’t give up a touchdown. They hunkered down at the goal line with the Jets threatening to tie the game with under two minutes. They gang-tackled with abandon. They had timely sacks and turnovers. And Takeo Spikes has one of the most abnormally large heads in history. His helmet must be the size of a laundry basket.

Bring on the artist formerly known as the NFC champions: Seriously. It’s tough to get excited about this season. All of that doom and gloom talk that’s surrounded the team all year seems like it’s starting to stick. Next week, the Eagles have to beat the drowning Chicago Bears in some overly convincing fashion if they want to provide this city with the slightest twitch of excitement.

Nobody puts Five in a corner: Donovan McNabb unveiled football’s largest middle finger toward those who lambasted him last week: 21/26 passing, 381 yards, 4 touchdowns. Most columnists were certain that the McNabb of old was gone. Perhaps he just needed to remove that clumsy knee brace to regain his old form, both physically and mentally. Is it too soon to proclaim him fully healed? Enjoy the silence, as it’ll be right back to screaming and second-guessing next Monday morning should McNabb revert to gimpy insignificance against the Giants on Sunday night. For now, though, he’s unstoppable.

White receivers have to do a little bit extra: Kevin Curtis does his best Greg Garrity impersonation, stealing the hearts of the blue-collar green-bleeders. Brian Westbrook pinballed off of defenders one too many times yesterday. He should never have to practice again if he’s going to survive the whole season. The Eagles are lifeless without him.

Who needs defense on days like this: The Eagles defense needed to do very little yesterday except play deep and attempt to keep the Lions’s 14 receivers from getting behind them for most of the second half. Plenty of chaos-causing for Lions quarterback Jon Kitna (Brodrick Bunkley, you’re a changed man) and a timely interception by Sean Considine proved to be enough to hold off a chuck-happy Lions offense. Still … Kitna threw for 446 yards, but did so with the Eagles relaxing in prevent defense for most of the day and with a Joselio Hanson secondary.

Gå Örnen! I’m not 100 percent convinced the yellow and blue uniforms didn’t have something to do with this output. Should the Eagles make the playoffs, trotting out those pee-and-it’s-a-boy!-colored beauties one more time doesn’t seem like the worst idea in the world.

That’s just Eagles fans being … Eagles fans: The boos were inevitable. But was it really necessary to cheer so loudly for Kevin Kolb? Probably not. Careful what you wish for: For all we know, he could be the next Bobby Hoying.

Each week during the Philadelphia Eagles season, the Daily Examiner will take a comprehensive look at what the local and national football geniuses are saying about our beloved/frustrating/heartbreaking team.

Dun-dun-duh-dah …: Does Tony Kornheiser really think those 14 strands of hair slicked across the top of his skull make him appear distinguished? Thankfully, Emmitt Smith was there to add … the worst pre-game commentary from a former player. Smith made Eric Dickerson look like a Mensa candidate. Seriously: “Portis had 127 yards last year, 563 yards, uh, rushed for 127 times, need him tonight against … defense … name eludes me … the Eagles.” Wow. Stick to mambo contests, dude. Jaworski saves everybody in that booth — even Charles Barkley. It’s become apparent that for every two witty, cogent things Sir Charles says, there are 14 ridiculously moronic things to follow.

(more…)

Each week during the Philadelphia Eagles season, the Daily Examiner will take a comprehensive look at what the local and national football geniuses are saying about our beloved/frustrating/heartbreaking team.

(more…)