If you want to avoid the scalpers and Craigslist scams, consult this handy guide to the shows soon to go on sale …

Outside of the ol’ MILF porn (and, of course, at Rouge), there aren’t too many women in their 50s walking around using the phrase “sticky and sweet” to describe themselves, but the Sticky & Sweet Tour is such a better name than the Music Tour, the Who’s That Girl Tour, and The Drowned World Tour (missed that one, did ya?). Madonna sashays her delicious self into the Wachovia Center on November 19th and Boardwalk Hall on November 22nd. $50-$350. On sale Monday, 10 a.m.

Also aging and most probably sticky, but most definitely not sweet, is punk grandfather Iggy Pop, who, along with his Stooges, joins The Killers, Philly’s weird and wonderful Man Man, and a host of other acts at the Susquehanna Bank Center on August 2nd for the all-day Download Festival. $35-$95. On sale Saturday, 10 a.m.

Locavores around Philadelphia have been waiting for this moment: Finally, fresh seasonal produce has arrived. Now is the time to enjoy fiddlehead ferns, green garlic, fresh peas, softshell crabs, strawberries and rhubarb. Four dishes you have to try before these fleeting spring delicacies disappear for another year:

At Marigold Kitchen, chef Erin O’Shea combines fiddlehead ferns with potatoes and a hearty hanger steak.

At Farmicia, chef Kevin Klause is dressing his gnocchi with an ultra springy sauce of green garlic, peas and mint.

At Gayle, chef Daniel Stern is paying his annual homage to soft shell crabs, served with asparagus, another springtime treat.

At White Dog Café, indulge in chef Andy Brown’s sweet-tart strawberry-rhubarb pie.

Image, photos.com

TASTE DAILY: Four meals to eat this summer

GOOD LIFE DAILY: Break your coffee addiction in style

TRAVEL: The one trip you should take this season

Jocelyn Kirsch, the gift that keeps on taking: Whenever young “Bonnie” sneezes, our traffic numbers soar, so we’re happy to report that she was flown back to Philly yesterday from her parental hideout in California to answer charges that she violated bail by lifting a new acquaintance’s credit card. She’ll remain under house arrest until her previously scheduled plea hearing next week. [Daily News]

Nutter announces homeless plan: Aiming to combat an expected rise in the city’s homeless population due to increased housing foreclosures, the mayor yesterday unveiled plans to fund 625 new housing units as well as 75 new beds for the chronically homeless. The city currently has 389 people on the streets, 2,600 in emergency housing and 4,000 in transitional housing. [Metro]

Where’d I leave that $30 million? I know it was here somewhere: In other Nutter news, the mayor is bringing in a team of auditors to look at one of John Street’s signature programs, the Neighborhood Transformation Initiative. During Street’s first mayoral term, City Council let him borrow $300 million to fund large-scale land acquisitions and building demolitions; $30 million of it seems to be missing. [KYW]

Real estate is no fun these days, dumplings — unless you’re Alex Plotkin, the man making Edgar fat with all those filets at Chops. (Delish!) He’s halfway through a redo of Betsy Cohen’s old two-story Rittenhouse condo, which he snapped up in February. Star architect and pal Cecil Baker swung by to peruse the fireplaces and 30-foot ceilings (in a non-official capacity, of course). We can only hope we’re invited for snacks when it’s done! … Another primo invite will surely be to the Parc Rittenhouse rooftop terrace of tycoon Ira Lubert, being designed by Gabrielle Snyder, new bride of hunky entrepreneur Matthew Canno. (Gaby designed Matt’s terrace across the Square, avec movie screen and seating!) No doubt Ira’s first guest will be gal pal Martha Snider (ex of Ed) — or perhaps we can all just meet at Matt’s for a screening of Cinema Paradiso (his fave). Edgar, pass the popcorn!

Forgive us for having mentioned this before, but: fabulous Philly native Becky Fawcett and her husband, Kipp, recently started HelpUsAdopt.org, which awards grants — their first one coming in June! — to couples financially unable to take on the enormous costs of adopting a child.

On Tuesday, June 3rd, Nicole Miller Philadelphia (the Bellevue and Manayunk locations are owned by Philadelphian Mary Dougherty) is hosting a luncheon for HelpUsAdopt at Bourbon Blue in Manayunk. Tickets for the lunch, which goes from 12pm-2pm, are $75 (you can pay at the door, but RSVP to Becky at 917-684-5484), and afterwards, all guests are invited to shop just up the block at Nicole Miller for summer’s hottest styles — and where 10 percent of the proceeds will go directly to HelpUsAdopt.

Now that’s worth playing hooky for.

Bugs are baaaaack: Seasonal bugs such as cicadas, gypsy moths and tent caterpillars are expected to make an appearance in the area this summer. This crop of cicadas has been underground for the past 17 years and are ready to invade — sometimes up to 5,000 on one tree! — all the while singing their signature buzzing song and causing damage to your trees. Good news is, if you experienced the cicada flood of 2004, you most likely will not have another visit. [Courier Times]

Your friendly neighborhood porn shop: Some West Chester locals are in an uproar over a new addition to their community — an adult novelty store aimed at women. Feminique Boutique has been open for three weeks and sells lingerie and lotions, with the naughtier products found in a back room. The 22-year-old “sexologist”/owner says she has been met with remarks like the hospitable “You’re going to hell.” [MSNBC]

Former Philly cop faces federal firearm charges: Malik Snell, who served 11 years on the police force, was suspended last December after his alleged involvement in a Pottstown home invasion. In an indictment handed down yesterday, Snell and two other men were said to have broken into a suspected drug dealer’s home but didn’t find the money they were looking for. After leaving and returning to the house a short while later, the trio encountered police and fled, leading to a high-speed chase. [Inquirer]

Pinot grigio made in Pennsylvania? Yes, indeed. One sip of Chaddsford pinot grigio ($15.99) will dispel forever the idea that life’s too short to drink local wine. With over 25 years of hard work and practice, this winery is producing polished wines that compare favorably to those hailing from more pedigreed international regions.

Succulent and refreshing, this wine delivers both refreshment and flavor. Full of fresh pale fig and sweet almond flavors on first sip, this bright wine finishes with snappy, green apple-y crispness. Impress your friends from out of town with a delightful local wine with fare from the local farmstand.

TASTE DAILY: A local pinot to love

GOOD LIFE DAILY: Buy a dress, help a kid

WEDDING: The best, totally-Philly spots to shoot your wedding photos

Record fuel costs increasing transit ridership: Every local public transit system has seen a spike in riders this year — SEPTA’s up 5 percent, and its Regional Rail division is up 11 percent; PATCO is up 7 percent; and New Jersey Transit is up 3.5 percent. But all those extra rider dollars are a mixed blessing — like the rest of us, the agencies are facing much higher fuel prices. [Inquirer]

And this will drive even more people to SEPTA: Cab prices are shooting up come Monday, especially for people who like to share rides. After months of pain from rising gas prices, local taxi companies will be allowed a 50-cent surcharge per trip, in addition to a previously approved “extra passenger” charge — a buck each for everyone after the first rider. [KYW]

PPA pays up after being caught in “no shirking” zone: The Philadelphia Parking Authority, required by a 2004 law to turn excess meter revenue over to Philadelphia schools, will cough up $2.2 million this week — $1 million more than had been projected after complaints forced the agency to reevaluate the schools’ annual take. [Metro]