With the unofficial last weekend of summer just a few hours away, many local Philadelphians plan to partake in copious alcohol consumption. Some will subsequently make the ridiculously stupid decision to drive. We’re not condoning such behavior in the least, but if you do make the big mistake, here are a few things to keep in mind when you get pulled over.

Obviously, the police know this is a destructive drinking weekend, so many jurisdictions in Pennsylvania and New Jersey will have DUI checkpoints set up to nab unlucky over-imbibers. Local DUI mastermind attorney Lou Busico offers helpful hints to make the process less humiliating — and possibly less costly.

• ‘Fess Up, Drunkie: If you have been pulled over and you have alcohol on your breath, that’s enough to give police officers the right to request a sobriety test. You might as well admit to drinking. Act polite and courteous — remember, on the street, they have the upper hand. If you’re charged you’ll have every opportunity to argue and make up excuses in the courtroom — so be sure to hire a lawyer immediately after you get pinched. That night, however, save those million and one stories for a book of fiction, because the cops aren’t going to listen.

• Remember Your Performance: If they ask you to take a field sobriety test, try to remember how you performed. The officer may deem you a failure, but your account of the test will open an avenue for dispute that may help you out come trial time.

• If You Do Drive Drunk, Do It in Drag: Unless you’re given a directive to the contrary, be sure to keep on high heels or any other kind of footwear that’s tricky to walk in. By keeping them on, you can more readily make a case for yourself in the courtroom: “Hey look, I have five-inch heels on, and I’m supposed to maintain my balance by lifting my foot up?”

• Try to Take a Glassy-Eyed Look Around: Remember every aspect of the field sobriety test: Is there a lack of lighting that makes it tough to see? On you on a level area? Is the “line” you’re asked to walk a real one or an imaginary one? Also, if it’s just you and three cops carrying guns, be nervous. Honestly, who under those conditions could perform well on a test?

PHOTO: Pittsburgh Post Gazette

This entry was posted on Friday, August 31st, 2007 at 12:46 pm and is filed under Service, Reportage. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Posted by A.J. Daulerio on 8/31/07 in Service, Reportage