Is Everyone Scheduling Secret Sex Dates But Me?

It’s not the most romantic idea — but it’s not a bad idea, either.

Okay, before we get started here, let’s get this embarrassing nugget of information, crucial to my talking about this subject, out of the way: The show Parenthood is my vice. I watch it when I’m sad, bored, anxious — essentially, whenever I have emotions, which is all the time. And if Netflix ever takes it away, I can’t even fathom the violent reaction that I will surely have.

Okay, so now that that’s covered: There’s a scene in Parenthood where one of the middle-aged brothers of the family, Crosby, finds a peculiar event penciled into his brother Adam’s calendar. It says “Funkytown” and it’s at 9 p.m on a weekend night. Long story short, it’s a sex date. Adam, embarrassed, explains that sometimes he and his wife pencil sex into the calendar to, you know, make sure they’re still having it.

Being the Parenthood addict that I am, I have watched this scene a number of times from my early 20s through my late 20s. And — not to go into too much detail, because my mom reads this blog — on the later side of my 20s, I get the need to pencil in some time in between the sheets more. But still, I’ve never actually done so with my fiancé. So earlier today, when I saw over on Well + Good, nestled in a blog post all about how sex is good for everything from your sleep to cardiovascular function to stress levels, that holistic sex and relationship coach Kim Anami suggests people do exactly what Adam Braverman did — pencil weekly sex dates with their partner into their calendar— I was intrigued. And then I wondered: Are all my coupled-up and married friends scheduling sex dates and not telling me? After all, the Parenthood storyline must’ve spawned from some real-world experience. Do Beyoncé and Jay Z schedule sex dates? What about Brad and Angelina, before they started hating each other? IS EVERYONE SCHEDULING SEX DATES BUT ME?

It wouldn’t be a bad idea. Recent research shows that, in order to reap the wellness benefits of sex, once a week is a good goal to aim for. So penciling that in to make sure you’re, um, hitting your quota, the same way you pencil in gym time, makes sense. Plus, research has shown that millennials, both coupled-up and not, aren’t having nearly as much sex as the folks who came before us. So … maybe we just need more structure? Ya know, for health’s sake. And let’s face it: We do live in the world of iCal Over Everything.

So, my question to all you coupled-up people out there, millennials and not: Have you ever penciled sex with your partner into your calendar? I, being the shamelessly nosy human I am, need to know.

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