6 Things That Happened When I Dragged My Boyfriend to His First Fitness Class

Body Cycle Studio | Photo by Christopher Gabello

Over the past few years, I have tried everything in the book to convince my boyfriend to go to a fitness class with me: I’ve begged him to go to boot camps; I’ve tried bribing him to take Pilates with the promise of post-workout happy hours; I’ve even banned back massages, telling him that yoga would be a better bet when it comes to alleviating his aches and pains. And never, ever, has he said yes.

Then, about a week ago, I said, “I think you’d really like the cycling classes at Body Cycle Studio. How about about I sign us up for one next week?” I assumed he’d look at me in silence with his usual reaction to these types of suggestions: a face that very clearly says, sarcastically, “Uh, yeah right.” So when he turned to me and said “Sure,” my brain nearly exploded with shock and joy. I had won. Finally!

So yesterday, I went with my boyfriend to his first-ever fitness class. Sadly, I did not take video footage, but I’ve got every bit of the experience stored in my memory, and it is just too funny not to share. Read about all the hilarious things that happened before, during and after the class, below.

1. He tried to wear Dickies to class.

As we were getting ready to leave for the class, I noticed he was wearing a pair of cut-off Dickies. That simply wouldn’t work. When I told him that he would undoubtedly ruin his favorite pair of shorts with a bucket’s worth of spinning-induced butt sweat (gross, I know—but nonetheless true), he agreed: The Dickies shorts were not going to work. So en route to Zach’s first-ever fitness class, we made a quick pit-stop at Nordstrom Rack to purchase his first pair of grown-up athletic shorts. Mind you, he is 30 years old.

2. He told me he was scared.

This from a guy who has absolutely no fear of killing mice or sitting down on a stained SEPTA subway seat.

3. He chose the worst (or to some, the best) seat in the house.

Folks who regularly frequent a fitness class usually have a preferred spot in the classroom. Regardless of the class, my favorite spot tends to be near a window, near a fan, and far, far away from the instructor. Not that I have anything against fitness instructors—it’s just when they’re staring straight at me barking, “Faster! Harder! Come on!” I feel like I’m back in a middle school P.E. class. Not my idea of a good time.

So when I came back from filling my water bottle and spotted Zach seated on a bike smack-dab across from the instructor’s bike, I was intrigued by his decision. But it soon became clear that he didn’t do this on purpose. When the instructor came into the room and posted up on his seat, staring straight back at Zach, he turned to me with a pained face that said it all: “Shit.”

4. There were no other guys in sight.

Aside from the instructor, Zach was the only guy in the classroom. This did not jibe with all the “All my friends’ boyfriends do it with them!” lines (lies?) I’d been feeding him. Whoops.

5. He nearly died.

Okay, okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration. But after about 10 minutes of cycling, he really did look like he might keel over and die, which was surprising, and also funny, because the guy bikes everywhere. He grew up in Italy and when he moved back to the States, he never got around to getting his driver’s license, so come rain, snow or 100-degree heat, he is on his bike, pedaling his way to wherever he needs to go. And trust me, he bikes fast—we’ve gotten in numerous arguments about him leaving me in the dust during long bike rides. But after 10 minutes on a stationary bike, this seasoned city biker was beat.

Oh, the irony.

6. He said he would do it again.

This was the biggest surprise of all. And while I’m pretty sure he was lying, here’s hoping we can do it all over again!

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