Sure, there are some valid excuses to skip the gym. They look like something like these: I’m injured, I’ve hit the gym every day this week and I need a day to rest, I’m dying of the flu, my BFF is in town for 24 hours and I’m going to spend every millisecond with her and a few bottles of champagne (Okay, we’ll call this one borderline), etc. But there are also those totally invalid, my-dog-ate-my-homework excuses that we all know are BS, but use anyway. They look something like these:
1. It’s been way too long since my last pedicure.
I’ll admit it: My calloused heels and chipped toe nails (Gross – I know!) have served as an excuse for me to skip out on a Pilates or yoga class on more than one occasion. I mean, call me vain, but I just don’t want my yoga-studio nickname to be “That Girl With The Crazy-Gross Feet.” And I know I’m not the only gym-goer guilty of this totally irrational fear.
But let’s be honest here: After a grueling 90-minute hot-yoga session, your toes aren’t the only part of you looking a little rough. (I mean, can we please talk about post-hot-yoga hair? More like hot-mess hair, am I right?) So why let a few unpolished toe nails stop you from getting your yoga on when the rest of you will look just as disgusting in an hour, anyway?
Plus, let’s be real: Everyone in your Bikram class is way too busy – you know, trying not to crawl out of the studio in tears – to actually pay any attention to your feet.
2. I ate a salad for lunch, so that’s kind of the same thing…right?
Some might describe me as a slightly irrational thinker. For instance, I categorize watching an entire season of Sex and The City in one sitting as “educational,” because Carrie is a journalist, and I work in journalism. See? Totally irrational.
So I get where you’re coming from when you categorize the salad you had for lunch under “fitness.” But even my irrational brain knows that’s BS. Don’t get me wrong: Salads are good. But a salad is not going to give you a Beyonce booty or the six-pack abs you’ve been dreaming of. So sadly, this excuse just doesn’t work.
3. But I just showered, like, today.
When you’re a guy, showering is the easiest thing in the world: Get in, rinse off, maybe wash your hair, and you’re done. When you’re a girl, it’s a whole different, 45-minute long, story. Girls have to schedule showers. And after you’ve successfully taken a shower, blow-dried your hair, and gotten dressed, the last thing you want to do is mess it up and do it all over again. Believe me, I understand.
But the reality is this: If you work out, you usually have to shower afterwards. Because if you don’t, it’s just kind of gross. And you can’t just not workout because showering is hard. That’s just lazy. Luckily, the fix is simple: Start scheduling your showers post-workout instead of pre-workout. BAM: Two-showers-in-one-day meltdown averted.
4. I never EVER want to see my personal trainer again.
A relationship with a personal trainer can go downhill for a variety of reasons: They push you so hard that you burst into tears mid-session, EVERY session, or they don’t push you hard enough, or – like a bad date – you’re just not that into them. But breaking up with a trainer, like breaking up with anyone else, is awkward. So awkward, that you might decide to pull a classic eighth-grade move and just avoid them until they forget about you. And avoiding them means avoiding the gym.
But you don’t have to revert back to your middle-school ways just because your relationship didn’t work out: Here, a guide to breaking up with your personal trainer, without breaking up with your gym, so you’ll never have to avoid the gym again.
5. But WHEN will I eat?!
If you’ve ever been guilty of skipping a Zumba class because it coincided with dinnertime, raise your hand. I mean, it’s only logical, right? After a long day of work, would you rather sit down with your roommate/significant other/cat and eat a plate of miso-glazed salmon or sit down in a room full of strangers and sweat your face off for an hour? I’m going to go with option A.
But who says you can’t have it all? If you can only ever squeeze in a sweat session at 7 p.m. (Because, life.), just make a habit of pushing back dinnertime. Once you adjust, eating late is great – very European-chic, if you will.
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