Introducing the World’s Most Caffeinated Coffee

Sigmund Freud introduced us to the “death drive,” a person’s appetite for death and self-destruction. I’m here to introduce you to Death Wish Coffee (DWC), a premium dark-roast organic coffee from upstate New York that seems to want to profit from our Freudian drive toward death. Interested?

Here at Death Wish Coffee we have found a coffee bean with close to 200% the amount of caffeine as your typical coffee shop coffee; we roast it to a medium-dark for a strong and robust flavor and then we grind it to the proper level for extreme potency. … We are dedicated to quality and guarantee that you will not find a stronger, more flavorful, organic coffee on the market anywhere or we will buy the coffee back from you.

DWC explains that while most high-end coffee roasters and retailers utilize the tasty (but less caffeinated) Arabica coffee bean, they’ve chosen to use Arabica’s crude and highly caffeinated sister, Robusta. (She doesn’t have many friends and wears a lot of Metallica T-shirts or something.)

The end result is a dark, rich, bold coffee with a higher-than-usual caffeine content that’s grown organically, fairly traded and shade grown. According to Yahoo! Shine, which asks whether too much caffeine is a bad thing, a single 12-ounce cup of coffee at Starbucks contains approximately 260 milligrams of caffeine; a 12-ounce cup of Death Wish Coffee contains 520 milligrams. Whoa. A cup of that stuff could come in handy on a dreary Monday like today.

Learn more here.