Amateur runner ISO friends to run in upcoming Gift of Life Dash for Organ and Tissue Donor Awareness 5K on April 15th. To apply for one of many coveted positions on team “Are You Kidney-ing Me,” please fill out the survey below.
1. To train for the upcoming 5K, I have been:
a. Running 10 miles 3x/week, because that’s my normal routine. I’ll bring my D game that day because I feel bad for you.
b. Sitting on the couch, eating Fritos, watching The Biggest Loser. Because if they can run a marathon I can absolutely do a 5K. Fatties.
c. Rocking through each day of the Couch to 5K program.
2. My Dash-day gear will consist of:
a. Head-to-toe Spandex, a hat emblazoned with the logo of one of several running magazines that I subscribe to, those weird finger-foot sneakers, and Oakley Razorblades.
b. A T-shirt from the last event I ran (10 years ago), which is almost as cool as wearing a concert T-shirt to the concert. Am I right?
c. An entire running ensemble that I have pieced together from the “Active” section at Target; something long-sleeve that I can peel off when I want to show, in dramatic fashion, that “I’ve got this”; various hair accoutrement for when my tresses, inevitably, get all crazy on me; and sweatbands worn on both wrists, a la Wonder Woman, because I sweat like a beast when I run.
3. Three songs currently on my running mix:
a. “Eye of the Tiger,” Survivor; “Burning Heart,” Survivor; “Hearts on Fire,” John Cafferty. Essentially, the entire Rocky IV soundtrack. And the big finale: “Chariots of Fire” by Vangelis.
b. “Wonderful Tonight,” Clapton; “Candle in the Wind,” Elton John; “Love on the Rocks,” Neil Diamond. Want me to burn you a copy?
c. Anything Nicki Minaj, Lady Gaga or Flo-rida scream into my ear.
4. While running I like to:
a. Let you eat my dust.
b. Chat. Let’s talk about the weather. Or the fact that this isn’t so bad (or, later, that it’s really, really horrible). Or about what we did last night. Or what we’re going to do when the race is over. Or about anything, as long as I can keep talking to you. Because I like to talk.
c. Tell you to stay the eff away from me. Do not talk to me. Do not look at me. Do not sweat near me. I am in the zone and will kick you in the knee if you bust my groove.
5. After the race is over I plan to:
a. Run all the way home. To Chester County. What?
b. There are going to be food carts at this thing, right? I’m thinking a chili dog. And a bag of chips.
c. Cry. Because I set my mind to something and I actually did it. And since I am the queen of no-follow-through, this is going to be a huge accomplishment for me.
If you answered mostly A’s: You are a runner. Like, a real one. And, while we would appreciate you supporting us at the race, you will make the rest of us look bad. And your outfit will embarrass us. Stick to your marathons, please.
If you answered mostly B’s: You are a douche. Stay at home with your meaty, greasy hand in the Fritos and I’ll send you my T-shirt so that you can wear it to your next event. Ten years from now.
If you answered all C’s: You might be me. If you answered mostly C’s and are not me, please think about joining us to run for an amazing cause on April 15th! We are accepting applications from all non-real-runners and non-douches.
What I Did This Week
Rededicated myself to my weight loss. Got all Forrest Gump and just kept ru-nning. Decided to take on a three-day juice cleanse. But more on that another time …
Robin Raskin blogs about her weight loss journey every Thursday on Be Well Philly. Catch up on the series here, and follow her on Twitter at @RobinRaskin. Join Robin’s Healthy Recipe Swap Facebook group here.