The Weekender: Celine, Sigourney, and E-A-G-L-E-S Eagles!

This week there is plenty to report, so I'll dispense with the attempted witticisms and get right to it ...

Friday ... Love her or hate her, Celine Dion is much, much wealthier than you, and she's getting moreso at the Wachovia Center, where her long-awaited show (tickets went on sale last November) is nearly sold out. (Congratulations to Paula Jackson, who won the free pair offered up in yesterday's Go-To Guide. If you want to receive the Guide weekly e-mail and be eligible for such giveaways, go here and use the "Sign Up" box that's buried way, way down on the right). Speaking of parasitic aliens, the Colonial in Phoenixville screens the classic sci-fi flick Alien at 9:45. Speaking of falsetto shrieks, there will apparently be singers from the Center City Opera Theater staking out the Art Museum's Art After 5 party. Oh, and I guess you want a Live Arts/Fringe suggestion. So much of the good stuff is sold out. Looks like tonight's European Lesson (which I have been hearing fantastic things about) is not.

Saturday ... Should Tropical Storm Hanna amount to little more than a drizzle, you can watch participants careen down the Manayunk Wall in the Red Bull Soapbox Race. Personally, I hope we do get a soaker so that Longwood Gardens can't rip you off with their overpriced fireworks display ($35 for fireworks? $25 for a burger? Guess the recession hasn't hit Chesco.) Then again, if there are gale-force winds, you might get blown off the lawn at the Mann Music Center, where Ben Folds and his piano and a symphony orchestra close out a pretty spectacular season at 52nd and Parkside. And in the art world, don't miss the opening reception, which I'm certainly hoping means free wine and cheese, for found-object exhibit "A Beautiful Find," featuring lots of "everyday trash-turned-treasure," at James Oliver Gallery on Chestnut. Fringe? The Giant Squid.

Sunday ... After you've sump-pumped the basement, there's still time to make it out for the Eagles/Rams dustup at the Linc. Now I thought that these games sold out long ago, but apparently, I was wrong, because Ticketmaster has seats available at $90, so check there before you get scalped. On the other end of the testosterone meter, the Walnut Street just opened their 200th anniversary season with Rodgers & Hammerstein's State Fair. For the slightly intrepid among you, don't miss the 25th Annual Feria del Barrio on north 5th Street. It's like all those "multi-cultural fairs" at Penn's Landing, only real and exponentially more entertaining. Fringe? A 3 p.m. showing of Pig Iron's Sweet By-and-By followed a 7:30 p.m. performance of A Streetcar Named Durang.

See you next week!