Departments Article

Contrarian: Leave the Leather Bike Shorts at Home

By Michael Callahan

Page 4 of 4

There was a time when such in-your-faceness served a purpose: These displays were not only valid but necessary, political polemics dressed in feathers, sequins and leather. But today, it all feels tired and  a little embarrassing, like the crazy cousin who comes to Thanksgiving dinner in tie-dye and Birkenstocks because he just can’t let the ’60s go.

We blared, “We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it.” Guess what: They’re used to it. My friend Jenny, a hip suburban soccer mom, once told me she would love to take her two girls to watch a gay pride parade. But, she said sadly, “I just can’t expose them to all of that.” Which doesn’t make her a homophobe — it makes her a mom. And by now, we should have advanced to a point where people aren’t afraid to bring their kids to our parades.

A few weeks ago, I went to a baby shower for my friends Jim and Paul, who just adopted a little girl. Twenty men sat in a room and watched as the proud papas opened up baby blankets and onesies, and listened to stories of 2 a.m. feedings and how to properly warm milk. My friend Dave and his boyfriend were there, talking about work they were having done to their house and a company trip they were about to take. Two years ago, Dave came out at work and got … a shrug.

As I watched the cooing over and ogling of Jim and Paul’s daughter, it struck me that this is the next chapter toward gay equality in this country, and its soundtrack is not sung by Cher.

We’re here. We’re queer. We’re moving into your cul-de-sac, we’re buying groceries at your Shop n Bag, and we’re heading off for work in the morning in our suits.

Get used to it.
Originally published in Philadelphia magazine, April 2008
 

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User comments

Were you dodging bullets with Hillary in Bosnia?
Posted by Chuck | Apr. 1, 2008 at 1:46 PM
COMMENT:
Peter Callahan is so wrong that we have invited him to be a celebrity judge of the Gay Pride Parade, Sunday, June 8, 2008. Let's see if he will have the courage of his convictions and continue to stand by his article.
Yawn, Stretch
Posted by morgandy | Apr. 18, 2008 at 6:03 AM
COMMENT:
I"m as terrified of being identified with your "Twenty men sitting in a room opening baby presents and listening to milk warming stories till 2 a.m." as you are of gay pride parade "freaks". Let's just hope the children you're raising don't grow to share your boorish intolerance of public displays of diversity, which are a lot more harmful to the community you purpose to support than a handful of feathers and go-go shorts.
blogalicious
Posted by Rachel | May. 28, 2008 at 7:30 PM
COMMENT:
click here
With Pride
Posted by Marcello | Jun. 3, 2008 at 1:41 PM
COMMENT:
If someone sees me on the street, they can say: "Oh, just another 29 year old guy". I go to bars and girls hit on me, even though I am far from a model. But yet I am gay, married for 5 years to my 43 year old husband and had my ceremony attended by city and state "celebrities". Live and work with an "upscale, closed minded" Rittenhouse area group of people. In general I am a "good Callahan" gay. But guess what, as I did for a City of Hope Benefit, I will doll up in Drag and show my friends, family and adoptive city that we are all good gays, whatever we dress like and do...
Callahan has it all wrong
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 4, 2008 at 10:48 AM
COMMENT:
The world has room for people of all types, shapes, and mindsets. The gay community has room for all as well. If you are "embarassed" by those who are different from you, I suggest that you get some therapy. Your collumn has done more to hurt others than you can imagine. Not everyone has to be as square, conservative, and closed-minded as you. And Philadelphia Magazine has a long tradition of first refusing to print anything about the gay community, then bashing the gay community, and now publishing hateful trash from a self-hating homosexual who cannot find Gay Pride in those different from himself.
Becoming a suburban Soccer Dad?
Posted by Anonymous | Jun. 4, 2008 at 10:38 AM
COMMENT:
You need to rethink your position. You have probably always wanted to become just like your father, and now you think you have done it by going to a gay baby shower? I hate to think what you will become next. How much do you have in common with Ronald Reagan?
Assimilation.
Posted by Ethan | May. 22, 2009 at 3:13 PM
COMMENT:
Why are you even worrying about anyone else? You should not be policing other's vehicles of expression. When you say that it's only ok to be "this type of gay", it's a step away from straight people saying you have to be "this type of sexuality" (ie: to be straight). Oh, and those "feisty drag queens"? Those were transwomen who bled and died for your life. Show some respect.
In all fairness...
Posted by Rachel K | May. 22, 2009 at 4:29 PM
COMMENT:
...I can see his point when he insists he's not self-loathing. He's obviously very fond of himself; it's the rest of us icky queers he can't stand!
SEPTA Riders Disagree with Your QuietRide Rating
Posted by Jerri | Jun. 4, 2009 at 9:14 AM
COMMENT:
Oh Michael........ What did you really expect? That every person on every QuietRide car would willingly abide by the rules? Just like every driver dutifully obeys the posted speed limit? Systemwide, compliance has really been pretty good. Of the folks that have responded to our most recent website survey about QuietRide, 73% of them said that the program has met or exceeded their expectations. There is no doubt that we are on a learning curve with the program and I am confident that the favorable rating will improve. As of today, we have added new, larger QuietRide decals to 35 railcars. The entire fleet will be completely re-decaled by mid-summer. We think that this will help educate riders, especially the occasional riders. We will also be handing out reminder cards later this month to customers in the first cars. The cards will also invite people to visit our website to rate the program and share their observations. While the program has had some rough spots, the environ

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